Transformation

Transformation

It’s been so long since I posted over here… And to be very honest, I had no specific plan to restart my blogging journey again. So much has happened, so many things have changed, that I somehow felt that I didn’t belong here anymore. At the same time, I couldn’t say goodbye to this place,…

Why does the world keep turning?

Why does the world keep turning?

When Sahar died, I couldn’t understand that life just continued, that the Earth kept spinning, that the sun continued to rise and the night still fell. My world had stopped the moment the OB said those words: She will never be able to live. You’ve seen this scene in a movie a million times. Everything…

Another goodbye

Today, we said goodbye to a wonderful lady. Grandma Paula. A truly inspiring woman. She immediately struck you as a warm, gentle, but also very strong person. She was intelligent and had an open mind, truly a woman of the world. Someone that dedicated her entire life and heart to her family. In the years…

When it rains, it pours, and then some…

When it rains, it pours, and then some…

Life has a way of distracting us from that what matters the most. We get lost in the dance in which we juggle between work, our household, friends and everything in between. Even though I dedicate quite a lot of time of each day to thinking about my baby, remembering Sahar, and transforming this grief…

On your due date

On your due date

Hello sweetheart, I don’t know where to start today. My chest is so abundantly filled with what seems like an incompatible cocktail of emotions. I feel so much love for you, it’s the feeling that dominates the most. But there’s also the same amount of grief, and I have to admit it weighs very heavy…

A confrontation with my thoughts

A confrontation with my thoughts

My child became sick inside my womb. She had no chromosomal deviations or other disorders that tend to manifest hand in hand with Hydrocephalus. She was a perfectly healthy, beautiful little girl, growing safely inside my womb. Then one day, the little tube in the brain that drains and recycles the fluids stopped working, for…

The backpack

The backpack

September is here. For most of us, the best way to describe this month is “back to school”. This means shopping for school supplies, wrapping books, buying new clothes. It also means increased movement on the roads resulting in traffic jams. September fills the bus stops with children and adolescents dragging around their heavy backpacks….

Loss is also a physical thing

Loss is also a physical thing

If you would have asked me to describe stillbirth, pregnancy or infant loss before I experienced mine, I would have used keywords such as: heartbreak, emotional trauma, psychological trauma, and so on. Although that’s all accurate, there’s a lot more to it than just the mental, emotional and psychological effects. Physical trauma plays a big…

Every soul fights a different battle

Every soul fights a different battle

A fellow bereaved mother and I were talking about how it seems like the entire world around us seems to be having zero difficulties at having a healthy, happy, complete family. I know that many of us feel this way. Even when I wouldn’t wish this pain to anyone, having no one in your environment…

Coping with fear: Breathing

Coping with fear: Breathing

I’ve been reading up on techniques to handle anxiety and fear when they take over my thoughts and actions for a while now. One of the most simple techniques that keeps coming back in each and every resource I find about this topic, is breathing. It sounds crazy, but it truly is a very good…

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