1 Year Wedding Anniversary

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1  Year Wedding Anniversary

What a day… Mixed feelings… Bitter sweetness…

One year ago today, Frank and I got married in the most idyllic setting one could imagine… In the mountains, at a lake, surrounded by palm trees and beautiful gardens, but especially by love in its purest form. Our families, our friends, it was a perfect day. The second most beautiful day of my life… Marrying my soul mate, my Mr. Right, Frank. The best decision I had ever made…

There was so much happiness that day, so much love and laughter. That calls for a celebration right? How many times do you get to celebrate your one year anniversary with the one you love? Only once…
So we decided to do just that, and make a beautiful day out of this memorable day.

Since we’ve arrived here in France, it’s been bad weather e-very-day. Rainy, cloudy, stormy… Not the kind of weather they are used to here this time of year, but somehow the weather has matched my feelings completely… Our anniversary day? Completely different story. That has been the most sunny, warm and beautiful day of these entire two weeks. So we went out to a beautiful little village called Saint-Cirq-Lapopie and spent the day there.

Guilty bliss.

First bliss. Having this man in front of me after a year, and realizing that in spite of everything that has happened, our love has grown stronger, our bond has grown tighter, our lives even more united.

Then guilt. How to feel bliss, when you feel so much sadness, hurt and pain at the same time? Our little girl, torn from our arms only 20 days ago… Taken from us without any warning, shattering all the dreams that we were having about her little self…

As we sat on a terrace enjoying a refreshment, all these feelings were going through my body, all these thoughts rushing through my mind… We had envisioned our first anniversary so different… We talked about how my belly would have looked by now, how we would be working on the nursery, how I would constantly be searching for ways to make her feel welcome an at home in our house. It’s all so different. It’s all so sad. But at the same time, we are happy and grateful to have had her only for that little while. To have each other. To be together. To remember her together. Butterflies danced around us as we walked down the road. We recognized her in them… She must have been there, celebrating with us. Watching how her parents share a great love, for each other, for her.

Guilty bliss, bitter sweetness, but above everything, a great love…


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