It kept bugging me… Sahar will never have her own room. She’d never have her sneakers lying around bugging me in the middle of the corridor. I will never have to clean up the mess she made after a playful afternoon. She will never have a closet full of clothes. Or posters of her idols hanging on the walls of her rooms. She will never have her own space in our home, and it just didn’t feel right to me.
One of the things I had already decided just a few days after she was gone, is that I wanted a space for her at home. A space to call Sahar’s, even if that wouldn’t mean an entire room just like we had planned. She’s still my daughter, and she still deserved a space at home. A space to remember her by, a space to go to and light a candle for her, a space of her own. A space that future siblings (hopefully) can identify as hers. And I didn’t want that space to be some bottom corner of a closet no one ever opens. No. I want it visible to everyone. Available. Close by.
I had several ideas. Everything spinned through my head. I wanted to hang up the hand and footprints we had of her. I wanted to hang up her birth card. I wanted to hang up the peaceful image I had ordered from the Seashore of remembrance. And I also wanted to hang a bookshelf on the wall, so I could have a perfect little space where I could light some candles for her when I felt like. What really surprised me is how many angel mommies actually do the same thing! It’s something I came up with in times of terrible pain, and I had never thought that so many other moms find peace in the same thing. Carly even has a page dedicated to this!
This post is about the series of posts that will follow in my journey to creating this space for her. And this is part one. The birth of Sahar’s wall of remembrance, which will be in the middle of our living room. Where we can see it every day, every evening, every night. Where she can be present with us while we have a cup of coffee chatting with friends or eat a bag of chips in front the TV. It will be her space. And although I haven’t gotten far, I can see it in front of me. I’m so excited to do this for her. It brings me peace to actually be able to DO something for her.
Before we left to France, I had already ordered a few items that I wanted on her memorial wall. I found an awesome artist on Etsy, that creates these beautiful hand made copper lanterns. She even personalizes some items, and I fell in love with it right away. When I came home, these beautiful items were already awaiting me, and this is the beautiful result.
First there’s a set of tiny set of small tea light lanterns with her name imprinted on them. Each lantern with it’s own letter, and even one with a heart to finish it off. And then there’s the butterfly lantern, which was actually the item I first fell in love with. She personalised it with her name, and I’m completely in love with it. These beautiful items will go on the bookshelf I’ve been talking about, but for now they rest on a little small table that’s underneath what will become to be her wall of remembrance. I’m so happy with these personalised memorial items… They transmit exactly what Sahar did: feelings of peace, beauty and lots and lots of love…
This is how the entire set looks like:
This was only part one… Stay tuned for how I will be decorating her space… It might even give you some ideas for your own!