A while ago I told you about how my hormone imbalance was driving me crazy. The terrible sadness and grief I already go through in this very difficult time, is worsened by the birth control pills I was taking to heal from the curettage they performed a few weeks earlier. I was barely holding on, hardly getting through the days and nights, completely drown in feelings I was unable to control. During my last visit to the OB, I was finally released from these hormone disruptors and threw those remaining pills right into the garbage can.
It’s been over a week now without them, and the change is just crazy. Everyone around me notices it too. I finally feel better again. The sadness isn’t gone, the grief is still there. I still get emotional, I still cry, I’m still sad, I still have nightmares, I still have fears and anxiety. But now I am able to control my emotions much more than I was a few days ago. I feel like a different person.
I can hold back the tears when I’m at work, in public places and break down when I need to in the privacy of my home. I can transform my feelings of sadness into feelings of love by remembering that moment I held Sahar in my arms alive. I can even put my feelings of fear and anxiety into perspective sometimes.
This is a great step in the right direction for me. I’m so happy this has worked out. That I wasn’t just imagining that the medication was causing that terrible relapse and complete mess of emotions I was experiencing. I wanted to share this with you so you can think about it for yourself. If you are on any medication that might be influencing your hormones, try and find out if you feel better when you stop (if you can). If you feel better without them but you still need to take them, maybe there are other alternatives that don’t have the same side-effects.
Hope this helps,