A space for Sahar at home (Part I)

A space for Sahar at home (Part I)

It kept bugging me… Sahar will never have her own room. She’d never have her sneakers lying around bugging me in the middle of the corridor. I will never have to clean up the mess she made after a playful afternoon. She will never have a closet full of clothes. Or posters of her idols…

Life goes on… ready or not!

Life goes on… ready or not!

April 24th 2013. I was the happiest pregnant mom out there. Came back home after my prenatal yoga class and was happily surprised by hubby who had just bought the two most cozy and relaxing steamer chairs available to enjoy in our garden. That and a freshly made smoothie were awaiting me when I got…

Always a child missing

Always a child missing

Most people don’t really know what to say to a person that’s facing such a loss like we are. I’ve heard all the variations: Better now than later… It wasn’t meant to be… At least you know you can have children… Or the most common one: You can have other kids! I realize they are…

Telling the world “Our baby is gone”…

Telling the world “Our baby is gone”…

The day Sahar’s condition was diagnosed, our world was smashed to pieces. We had to wait for a while before saying goodbye, and this was a terrible time. Days of disbelief, crying and grieving… Grieving while she was still alive… How do you even do that? I completely hid myself from the world.  We stayed…

1 Year Wedding Anniversary

1  Year Wedding Anniversary

What a day… Mixed feelings… Bitter sweetness… One year ago today, Frank and I got married in the most idyllic setting one could imagine… In the mountains, at a lake, surrounded by palm trees and beautiful gardens, but especially by love in its purest form. Our families, our friends, it was a perfect day. The second…

The love that is motherhood, the grief that is loss

The love that is motherhood, the grief that is loss

I had a baby. I had a daughter. Her name was Sahar. Our firstborn. The most beautiful blessing. The most precious and beautiful little girl I have ever seen. Our daughter. She made me a mother. She made me experience love in it’s purest form. Unconditional. 22 wonderful weeks she spent in my womb. Growing….

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