Tag archive: Doubts
A confrontation with my thoughts
My child became sick inside my womb. She had no chromosomal deviations or other disorders that tend to manifest hand in hand with Hydrocephalus. She was a perfectly healthy, beautiful little girl, growing safely inside my womb. Then one day, the little tube in the brain that drains and recycles the fluids stopped working, for…
Hidden warnings
Lindsey wrote a post a few days ago that got me thinking of something that’s been going through my mind for almost three months now. She wonders if a thought might have changed the outcome of the pregnancy. If a thought or a dream that something is wrong, can actually make something go wrong. I…
Choosing a path
I went to the OB today for a checkup. I’ve been looking forward to this appointment for what seems like such a very long time. While I was sitting in that waiting room, looking at all those happy faces and big bellies, I had this storm of feelings completely overwhelming my heart… From hurt, grief,…
First time for everything again
It’s hard to describe, but when you experience a devastating trauma like the loss of a child, your life seems to begin again, in a different form. Everything that was once normal, obvious or natural, isn’t any more. You have to learn to do all these things, all over again, like a child does. That’s…
A letter to Sahar
Hello my very sweet baby girl… I have so many things to tell you, so many things to ask you and to show you… Normally I tell you might thoughts in my mind. I spend hours and hours quiet to the outside world, when actually, I am just talking to you. I found this lovely…