Tag archive: Dreams

A confrontation with my thoughts

A confrontation with my thoughts

My child became sick inside my womb. She had no chromosomal deviations or other disorders that tend to manifest hand in hand with Hydrocephalus. She was a perfectly healthy, beautiful little girl, growing safely inside my womb. Then one day, the little tube in the brain that drains and recycles the fluids stopped working, for…

Hope is the light in this darkness

Hope is the light in this darkness

Where will we be in a year from now? I used to be able to answer this questions with a bunch of plans, dreams, and actions, waiting to be realized. I would literally talk your ears off. Now, after loss, I ask myself this question every day, and I only have a bunch of question…

About readiness

About readiness

Are you ready for a new pregnancy? When are you going to try for a new baby? These questions are popping up a lot lately. People around me see that I’m sad, that I’m grieving, that I’m hurting. And somehow, they want to fix my grief. And they do so by pushing the idea of…

Sahar’s space at home (Part 2)

Sahar’s space at home (Part 2)

It’s been a while since I posted part I, and not because I haven’t been working on this (quite the contrary), but because I prefer to take a bit more time and be completely happy with the results, than just putting something together for the sake of doing so. A while ago I came back…

Choosing a path

Choosing a path

I went to the OB today for a checkup. I’ve been looking forward to this appointment for what seems like such a very long time. While I was sitting in that waiting room, looking at all those happy faces and big bellies, I had this storm of feelings completely overwhelming my heart… From hurt, grief,…

Dreams, Reintroduced…

Dreams, Reintroduced…

When Sahar died, our world came crashing down. Every dream was shattered, every dream was broken, every dream was crushed, every dream became impossible, every dream became irrelevant, every dream became unreachable… I never, EVER thought I was going to be able to have dreams and hopes again, … ever… And now, slowly but steadily,…

Menu