Tag archive: Future
A confrontation with my thoughts
My child became sick inside my womb. She had no chromosomal deviations or other disorders that tend to manifest hand in hand with Hydrocephalus. She was a perfectly healthy, beautiful little girl, growing safely inside my womb. Then one day, the little tube in the brain that drains and recycles the fluids stopped working, for…
Perspectives on the future
The future… That thing that brings a terrible amount of anxiety to my heart when I think about it. I wonder what’s coming, what awaits u, what it holds for us… I have many dreams, plans, but especially hope for the future. Hope that it will bring us better times than this present, hope that…
The wall of hope
When we lost our baby, one of the first things I wanted to do was create a space for Sahar here at home. I’ve posted about it a few times already and I’m still working on it every single day. But it’s not only healing to create a space for your baby at home, it’s…
Hope is the light in this darkness
Where will we be in a year from now? I used to be able to answer this questions with a bunch of plans, dreams, and actions, waiting to be realized. I would literally talk your ears off. Now, after loss, I ask myself this question every day, and I only have a bunch of question…
This messy life after loss
Today, I want to share some feelings and thoughts I have about this life after loss. Let’s look at it the other way around, let’s start with the bad, and finish with the good. Just to end with a positive note. Envy I envy many of my friends. Their “my kid had a nightmare”-sleepless nights,…
Leaving my planned life behind
I’ve talked about this a little bit in this post, but since it’s been going through my mind for several days now, I wanted to elaborate. If you could ask anyone that knows me (before loss) just a very little bit, they would tell you that I am a meticulous planner. VERY meticulous. Many would even…
The fight between fear and hope
I’ve always been the kind of person that looks forward to the future, to what tomorrow will bring. I’ve always believed that even when today didn’t offer what we hoped for, tomorrow could finally bring that change. Hope for the future. I’ve always believed that tomorrow would be better. Because it was in our hands…