Tag archive: Grief

It’s a special day today…

It’s a special day today…

Hello sweet baby girl! Today is a very special day, and I wanted to tell you all about it. Your aunt Kat is getting maried today, to the love of her life Alex. We travelled all the way to Romania to witness their love and attend their wedding. When your aunt was all busy planning…

Recognising her presence

Recognising her presence

It’s midday. Lunch-time. Everyone walks out of the office, to spend their break outside: sitting in the sun-shine, enjoying the good weather. I stay at my desk. Looking into the void. Lost in my own little world. Unconscious of what happens around me. I think of Sahar. I remember her beauty, her extraordinary little self….

Summer

Summer

Summer. The most beautiful and fun time of the year. The sun, spreading its light and warmth all over my skin. The bees, buzzing over every flower that blooms, filling their tiny pockets to make that sweet thing called honey. The pollen, travelling through the wind, landing on my hair every now and then. Butterflies,…

Hormones, restored in their balance

Hormones, restored in their balance

A while ago I told you about how my hormone imbalance was driving me crazy. The terrible sadness and grief I already go through in this very difficult time, is worsened by the birth control pills I was taking to heal from the curettage they performed a few weeks earlier. I was barely holding on,…

Questions unanswered

Questions unanswered

Did I fail her? This is one of the questions that I constantly ask myself in my inner chit chat. Was there something I did wrong that caused her to get so sick? Did my body fail her somehow? Was she missing any nutrients? Was she experiencing any kind of stress caused by me? Could…

This messy life after loss

This messy life after loss

Today, I want to share some feelings and thoughts I have about this life after loss. Let’s look at it the other way around, let’s start with the bad, and finish with the good. Just to end with a positive note. Envy I envy many of my friends. Their “my kid had a nightmare”-sleepless nights,…

Seeking help

Seeking help

These last few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m handling the loss of our precious daughter. How I’m handling the most difficult time in my life, the time I thought I would never have to experience. I can only say, that I’m doing the very best I can. But I also realize,…

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