Tag archive: Note to self

Another goodbye

Today, we said goodbye to a wonderful lady. Grandma Paula. A truly inspiring woman. She immediately struck you as a warm, gentle, but also very strong person. She was intelligent and had an open mind, truly a woman of the world. Someone that dedicated her entire life and heart to her family. In the years…

A confrontation with my thoughts

A confrontation with my thoughts

My child became sick inside my womb. She had no chromosomal deviations or other disorders that tend to manifest hand in hand with Hydrocephalus. She was a perfectly healthy, beautiful little girl, growing safely inside my womb. Then one day, the little tube in the brain that drains and recycles the fluids stopped working, for…

Counting blessings

Counting blessings

The second part of 2012 and 2013 has been a rough time for us. Lots of issues came our way that we weren’t expecting, that we weren’t prepared for. It seemed like everything was going wrong. Frank and I fought through it, and finally saw light in the darkness when we held that positive pregnancy…

Hormone imbalance plus loss

Hormone imbalance plus loss

The day we conceive, our body starts to undertake major changes in our hormonal system to support that pregnancy so we can deliver a healthy baby. That is why we experience so many overwhelming emotions when we are pregnant. We react to that hormone imbalance by being very happy, very sad or even very mad….

Dreams, Reintroduced…

Dreams, Reintroduced…

When Sahar died, our world came crashing down. Every dream was shattered, every dream was broken, every dream was crushed, every dream became impossible, every dream became irrelevant, every dream became unreachable… I never, EVER thought I was going to be able to have dreams and hopes again, … ever… And now, slowly but steadily,…

First time for everything again

First time for everything again

It’s hard to describe, but when you experience a devastating trauma like the loss of a child, your life seems to begin again, in a different form. Everything that was once normal, obvious or natural, isn’t any more. You have to learn to do all these things, all over again, like a child does. That’s…

Leaving my planned life behind

Leaving my planned life behind

I’ve talked about this a little bit in this post, but since it’s been going through my mind for several days now, I wanted to elaborate.┬áIf you could ask anyone that knows me (before loss) just a very little bit, they would tell you that I am a meticulous planner. VERY meticulous. Many would even…

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